Monday, July 14, 2008

Online Tests

Like anyone else I like to be flattered, so I read my Chinese horoscope telling me how wonderful I am just because I was born in a certain year, and I like taking online "tests" that tell me things from how smart I am to how southern I am. Below are the results of the most recent test I took to help remind me why I am a strong confident man who does not need to smoke:

David, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz. [They know what is going on; they must double as a fortune teller. Always have a way out of what you state as fact. "Hey, if you are so bold to take our test again, don't blame us if you get different results, it's your personality's fault."]

You are a well-rounded person [enough with the fat jokes, oh wait it is ok, because I am strong confident man who does not need to smoke], distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition. ["You are shy yet outgoing, rich yet poor, a loser that wins, insatiable yet satisfied, ebony and ivory living in perfect harmony; you are the Yin and the Yang." They are good!]

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. [How can I not help but vacillate. Anyway my pal Arnold Schwarzenegger says flip-flopping is great.] Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. [Oops, caught them. I was the one who would study Chinese characters 5 minutes before a test, get an A, and then forget. And they were doing so well.] You will alternate between logic and impulse [Sounds a little Star Treky to me.]. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on. [Am I schizophrenic?]

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning. [It is true, I don't care for passive attacks.]

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. [Koombaya]You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional. [I'm so confused I don't know if my glass is half full or half empty, but I do know it is sweet nectar so I'll be sure to empty it as soon as possible.]

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 33%
Visual : 66%
Left : 52%
Right : 47%

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